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Sheila ordered one of those Cosmo Slut things (God I love her!) and I had a beer. Enzo was our waiter for the evening. He came by a time or two for ou... order, but I told him we were waiting on some friends and I'd let him know when we were ready to order, slipping a generous tip in his hand so I didn't come off like the asshole that I really am. He smiled as if he was used to dealing with assholes and walked off to another table. I'm working on my third beer and playing footsie with Sheila. ‘ Hello.’ she said. She extended her hand. I shook it. She had a firm handshake. ‘I’m Lauren.’ she said. I told her my name. ‘Has anyone ever pissed you off so bad?’ I asked. ‘What do you mean?’ she asked. ‘ Was there a fight?’ I looked at her. ‘ No.’ I said. By nature, I am not violent. I started telling her about Hank pissing me off. I was really distraught. Telling some girl I didn’t know about some gay dude who was harassing me. Basically I was telling a girl my secrets. That’s not. Anne whispered, ‘We are tough, and we have a several tough guys with us.’ Upstairs, I was in my briefs, brushing my teeth, when a parade of bodies joined me, fingers at their lips. Nicole whispered in my ear, ‘You remember about FION’s line of accessories? We are modeling the nighties. Very modern nighties. No touching!’ I turned around. What a sight. Modern meant the hems were no more than six inches below the crotch. Worse, it was obvious that modern meant nothing beneath the silky fabric in. Then, because she had pissed one of the noncoms off she had to clean not only her piece but her squad leaders too. The only good thing about it was that they weren't treated like boots and they were allowed to dip the actions in kettles of boiling water. Then came the two hour march back to barracks, the last half mile at double time, and every step of the way Teresa cursed Saddam Hussein, George Bush and all of the other idiots who were determined to attack Iraq. She cursed herself for being.
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