Means so much to me still. He has no faith in me, I think, because he pushes me. Too much. So impatient. So little faith that I...he doesn't believe...the depth of what I am feeling, just that I don't or can't express it to him the same way. I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to hurt him. I can't have him the way I want. I can't be to him what he wants. But he thinks that I am saying no to him, when if he listened...if he had faith...he would know that I am saying no to myself. And not to. Kristina did something unusual. She gave both Jean and I a small hug with the promise of seeing us tomorrow.We saw Kristina the next day up on the lido deck. She made the suggestion that she serve us our drinks while we sunned ourselves and swam. They get to wear short pants and button up shirts which are much more comfortable for them. She had a very nice body. I could not help but notice Kristina looking at Jean walk to and from the pool. She was not just looking, but staring at her great. And she came back to school. And she came with me to Lucy now and then, just to be there and maybe feel better. And her mom made it too, in a way.And I was there when they had that fight and Cait's mom told her, when she said she was selling the house and her office and everything in it and she was moving to her sister Jessica for a while and maybe start up again there later and buy an apartment or something but she had to leave, she couldn't stay in this house anymore and she wanted Cait to go. I used to hold the cycle seat and feel her buttocks just when she was about to sit on the seat and pedal…or hold her hips if she is in saree as if i am helping her to balance. She didn’t appear to mind it..My class mates said she is for sure enjoying it else no female would allow repeated touch and feel of buttocks and hips.. With her not giving much attention to my body contact approach i presumed she also liked it.. one of them in fact suggested to keep a close watch on her tits – to c.
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