" I smile up at the young man. "Has me a little unsettled."I notice then, that the crowed is dispersing and my three escorts have moved away from me. ... really want to ask them some questions, so I start to follow them."Would you please come with me. I am sure we can get you something more appropriate to wear," the young man says, and he starts to pull me in a different direction."Look." I point at the three retreating backs. "I think I need to speak with those men." You shouldn't bother them. Nobody ever REALLY wanted her. Her mom tried to have an abortion and was stymied only because Texas prohibited abortions in 1960. Think about THAT! It’s like me. My mother did NOT want me. She wanted the baby she miscarried before me. I wrote that in my journal, too.”“I just do not understand that! You didn’t kill that baby! Nature did!”“Very true. But that’s not how it worked in her mind. I even got a modified version of the girl’s name she picked out. My sister got that name. But when it was. It seemed impossible tomy logical mind, but the deeper truth was obvious. Anancestral Anasazi spirit-god had come back to life, and Idredged from my scatter-brained memory the name for thesespirits: Kachina. I had seen pictures of these in a coffee-table book at Ellen's. In the light of the full-moon, inthis cave hidden in the wild desert mesas of Glen Canyon,there stood before me a beautiful and stalwart Kachina,freed after a thousand years from his frozen stick-figurelikeness on the cave. Even on holiday she had fallen into sensual encounters.She had sucked her husband while strangers watched and touched her. She had sucked strangers. She had been fucked by her husband while a crowd gathered round to watch and admired. She had almost been taken by the crowd - she had been glad her husband was there to protect her although a small voice wondered what it would have been like to have been taken by the crowd, taken by a queue of men who would have talked to her in a foreign language.
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